My doctor is burnt out. I can see it in his physical appearance. His once healthy frame now seems hollowed out. He’s lost a significant amount of weight. His happy ‘whistle while you work’ spirit has been replaced by silence. His old smile has not exactly turned into a frown, but it is diminished and […]
Are Your People Burnt Out? Here’s How to Deal With It Read More »
We’re living in a liminal time. There’s a certain quality to this time that differentiates it from other types of time. It’s not the Before Times. It’s not the After Times. And increasingly, at least in many parts of the U.S., it’s not the Deepest Pandemic Times, either. It’s the In-Between Times. The space that
How to Optimally Deal with the Anxiety of In-Between Times Read More »
A Talmudic passage tells the story of a stranger who approached the sage Hillel and said, “Teach me the entire Torah while standing on one foot.” Hillel famously replied, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. The rest is commentary. Go and study.” If Hillel were an organizational psychologist with
Tell the Truth, With Love Read More »
In recent years, best-selling books like Essentialism and The One Thing have suggested focusing on one goal at a time to powerfully achieve your goals—one by one. Their ethos has been life-changing for many people, including me. For example, I relied on this way of working to write and launch my book, Optimal Outcomes. From
How (and Why) Conflicting Goals Is a Good Thing Read More »
Dear friends, I hope this finds you healthy, safe and well. Below (from my column in Psychology Today) is one leadership lesson I’ve gleaned from the days leading up to this week’s historic U.S. Inauguration, and three ways organizational leaders can implement it. One Leadership Lesson from the U.S. Inauguration The most important contributors to
One Leadership Lesson from the U.S. Inauguration Read More »
Dear friends, To honor this long-awaited new year, I want to offer you some simple wishes. I hope you enjoy these wishes. And I hope you’ll share your wishes with those you care about– your family and friends, colleagues and teams– so we can together create the new world we wish for each other in
Swirl: noun / whirling confusion As we approach the end of the year, scrambling to get work done before the holidays—while working remotely in the midst of a pandemic—may cause more swirl than usual. While it might be hard to define exactly what swirl is, you know it when you see it. You’re trying to
How to Avoid the Swirl in Any Organization Read More »
free·dom /ˈfrēdəm / noun the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. When we look through the lens of history, freedom often is (or seems like) a zero-sum game, where in order for one group of people to win freedom, another group must lose it. On July
Is Freedom Win/Lose or Is It Contagious? Read More »
Rarely, if ever, have we had a global, collective pause the way we have over the past several months. Around the world, our collective busyness, for the most part, came to a grinding halt. Although we’ve struggled to juggle the roles of teacher, parent, worker and essential worker, and to deal with overwhelming grief, being
How to Increase Justice? Take Simple, Different Action Read More »
Like so many, I am overcome by anger and sadness over the tragic murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and so many other egregious killings and injustices that continue to be perpetrated against Black people in America. The civil rights leaders of our day—including those at the NAACP, the National Urban League and
How to Use Anger as a Catalyst for Action Read More »
Yesterday, I had the honor of being interviewed by Kate Davis, Deputy Editor of Fast Company magazine, for her podcast, Secrets of the Most Productive People (our episode is scheduled to air next week). We discussed how working parents can stay productive while working from home and caring for children during quarantine. At the end
What Would You Like the Future of Work to Be? Read More »
In a 2015 TED talk, Bill Gates predicted a global outbreak and urged us to do something to prevent it; similarly, the epidemiologist Larry Brilliant tried to warn us in 2006 that a global pandemic was coming, and that it could be potentially catastrophic. Sadly, these compelling, intelligent, and well-respected voices were not enough to
How to Think Ahead and Pivot in a Crisis Read More »
There have been times in my life when I’ve had to learn important lessons the hard way. It typically goes like this: I want to succeed at a project, so I work beyond the point of productivity without a break, day after day, until I become bleary-eyed, starved for human contact, and anxious. Or I
The Gifts of the Coronavirus: How to Find the Silver Lining in a Crisis Read More »
Are you continuously struggling to resolve conflict without gaining real ground? Pattern recognition may help. Most people respond to conflict the same way in various situations even though those responses are often fruitless. It’s illogical and, yet, it’s the number one reason many people find it difficult to resolve contentious situations. Why do we fall
These 4 Conflict Habits Could Be Making Your Life Harder Read More »
After a decade of teaching and using the Optimal Outcomes practices in Columbia classrooms and client boardrooms, today, I am thrilled to announce that my new book, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life, is officially available—for everyone! I’m also delighted that the book has already been selected as
What is Conflict Freedom, Anyway? An Excerpt from Optimal Outcomes Read More »
Before I dive into this week’s post, I have a few exciting announcements: I am thrilled to let you know that Optimal Outcomes was recently selected as a Book of the Month by The Financial Times (the book will launch on Feb 25). It was also featured as one of Success Magazine’s Six Books to
Design a Pattern-Breaking Path Read More »
Dear friends, Last week, we celebrated the birthday of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. here in the US. In my family, each year on this day, my husband and I do something special with our kids to remember Dr. King and his vision for our country. This year, at a gathering with friends,
How to Imagine the Future like MLK, Jr. Read More »
As we enter 2020, given the state of the world (better than it’s ever been, on the one hand, and also needing help, on the other), in case you are looking for small actions to make a difference in your own life and the lives of the people and world around you, I offer two
Happy New Year + How You Can Help Yourself…And Humanity Read More »
A few weeks ago, we considered the idea that our emotions may have seasonal cadences, just like the weather and workflow. This week, we’ll take a look at how our moods impact our relationships and our outcomes–at work, at home, and in the world. Are Your Emotions Contagious? People don’t talk much about “mood” when
Do You Think Your Emotions Are Contagious? Read More »
Dear friends, Before I get into this week’s post below, a reminder that on Wednesday, October 30 at 12:30 pm EST, I’ll be teaching a free, public 1-hour live Q&A webinar on the 8 practices of the Optimal Outcomes Method. Unlike the private work I do in client organizations, this is completely free and open
The Number One Mistake People Make In Conflict Read More »
Dear friends, The 8-minute TEDx Talk I gave a few weeks ago has just been released: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails I tell the story of how I freed myself from a deeply personal conflict with my mom using 3 of the practices I’ve taught Columbia students and senior organizational leaders for a decade,
Watch the TEDx Talk: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails Read More »
In The Confidence Code, best-selling authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman show women how to increase their confidence. This is important, since even when women’s competence– or ability– exceeds that of their male counterparts, women’s confidence — or belief in themselves– falters. Having enjoyed The Confidence Code, I expected Kay and Shipman’s newest book, The Confidence Code for Girls,
Raise Your Confidence Quotient Read More »
This week, I was interviewed on the podcast The Upgrade about how to be a better boss. The smart and funny hosts, Melissa Kirsch and Alice Bradley, the Editor-in-Chief and Deputy Editor of the popular website Lifehacker, ended the interview by asking me about a “life hack”– something simple that has made my life profoundly better.
Lifehack: The Nightly Review Read More »
Many senior executives I work with find themselves feeling overwhelmed. One way to stop the overwhelm is to notice its roots. Where does the feeling of overwhelm originate from? If we look only on the surface, we might notice that a feeling of overwhelm arises when we stretch ourselves too thin or allow ourselves to get distracted from
How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed Read More »
By the time we hit mid-life, working long, hard hours can become so habitual, so ingrained in our daily routines, that it actually becomes more challenging to prioritize time to rest and have fun than to find time to work. I see this work ethic forming early in my daughter, who is currently in 5th
Play Can Be Harder Than Work Read More »
An article in this winter’s edition of The Nature Conservancy magazine notes recent research suggesting that when conservation projects involve women in their decision-making processes, the projects are able to attain more sustainable results than when few or no women are involved. These findings are similar to existing research suggesting that organizations in which women
Profitability and Sustainability Rise With Women Read More »
I’ve gotten some lovely responses to the new year’s greeting I sent out a couple of days ago. One of them, from my friend Laura Compagni-Sabella, is particularly moving. Laura wrote: “In the real world, I find that for every act of hate, there are thousands of acts of love. For every act of suspicion,
To Overcome Negativity Bias, Try Positivity Read More »
If all goes smoothly, the book I am writing, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself (and Others) from Conflict–At Work, At Home, In Life, will be due to hit bookstores at this time next year. After a book deal with HarperBusiness and an eight-month writing process, I can see that the theme of the book, about how
Choose Your Highest Self Read More »
Sending you wishes for a bright and connected 2019, wherever in the world this may find you. I just returned from a trip to Jerusalem. Although I’ve spent much time there in the past, I was suddenly struck by the small, everyday, peaceful interactions between people of different backgrounds and faiths. Amidst all the differences,
Independence Day is right around the corner here in the U.S., and I’ve been thinking a lot about the last line of our national anthem. We sing: “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” It takes courage — bravery — to become free. It takes the same courage to free yourself
Podcast Interview on Freedom from Conflict Read More »
Over the past few months, I’ve been hard at work to define how people can master very difficult conflicts. It’s for a book proposal that I’m writing. While I’ve been teaching these ideas at Columbia for close to a decade and coaching dozens of clients using this approach for just as long, writing out the
Mastering Difficult Conflict Read More »
In my line of work, it’s easy to look for something wrong to fix. Much of the time, leaders call me precisely because there’s a problem – a team can’t get along; a core market has been disrupted; communication has broken down; a leader is not performing at his potential…the list of what’s wrong can
The hazards of looking on the bright side Read More »
So often we look at the negative: what didn’t go well, what we did (and we wish we hadn’t), what others did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say (that we wish they hadn’t)…the list is long, and can sometimes seem never-ending. In my work coaching successful entrepreneurs and executives, there is one tendency that
Looking on the Bright Side Read More »
It is a law of nature: the world around us is always changing. A logical response is…to ACCEPT it. We don’t have to like it, we don’t even have to embrace it with gusto. We just need to accept that in reality, it is happening. I’ll give you an example. Last week, I was working
How would your life be different? Read More »
Why are we so resistant to change, even when change is good for us? Maybe it’s because we are creatures of habit, but I think it’s more than that. Yesterday, I was coaching a senior executive at a multinational financial services company. She has two Ivy League degrees, has been promoted many times throughout her
Do you embrace change? Read More »