We’re living in a liminal time. There’s a certain quality to this time that differentiates it from other types of time. It’s not the Before Times. It’s not the After Times. And increasingly, at least in many parts of the U.S., it’s not the Deepest Pandemic Times, either. It’s the In-Between Times. The space that […]
How to Optimally Deal with the Anxiety of In-Between Times Read More »
In recent years, best-selling books like Essentialism and The One Thing have suggested focusing on one goal at a time to powerfully achieve your goals—one by one. Their ethos has been life-changing for many people, including me. For example, I relied on this way of working to write and launch my book, Optimal Outcomes. From
How (and Why) Conflicting Goals Is a Good Thing Read More »
Dear friends, I hope this finds you healthy, safe and well. Below (from my column in Psychology Today) is one leadership lesson I’ve gleaned from the days leading up to this week’s historic U.S. Inauguration, and three ways organizational leaders can implement it. One Leadership Lesson from the U.S. Inauguration The most important contributors to
One Leadership Lesson from the U.S. Inauguration Read More »
Dear friends, To honor this long-awaited new year, I want to offer you some simple wishes. I hope you enjoy these wishes. And I hope you’ll share your wishes with those you care about– your family and friends, colleagues and teams– so we can together create the new world we wish for each other in
“…the human propensity to have arguments always fills the available space…” – Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks These days, many leaders are struggling with lack of focus at work. The day-to-day needs of family and children can be overwhelming. The impacts of the global health and economic crises, political polarization, global degradation, and racial injustice are
Why is Conflict More Magnetic During the Holidays? Read More »
Yesterday, I had the honor of being interviewed by Kate Davis, Deputy Editor of Fast Company magazine, for her podcast, Secrets of the Most Productive People (our episode is scheduled to air next week). We discussed how working parents can stay productive while working from home and caring for children during quarantine. At the end
What Would You Like the Future of Work to Be? Read More »
In a 2015 TED talk, Bill Gates predicted a global outbreak and urged us to do something to prevent it; similarly, the epidemiologist Larry Brilliant tried to warn us in 2006 that a global pandemic was coming, and that it could be potentially catastrophic. Sadly, these compelling, intelligent, and well-respected voices were not enough to
How to Think Ahead and Pivot in a Crisis Read More »
There have been times in my life when I’ve had to learn important lessons the hard way. It typically goes like this: I want to succeed at a project, so I work beyond the point of productivity without a break, day after day, until I become bleary-eyed, starved for human contact, and anxious. Or I
The Gifts of the Coronavirus: How to Find the Silver Lining in a Crisis Read More »
Dear friends, Today, I am thrilled to announce that my new book, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life, is officially available—for everyone! After years of using the Optimal Outcomes practices inside Columbia classrooms and client boardrooms, I’m excited about the possibility of the book having a wider impact.
Optimal Outcomes is on sale TODAY! Read More »
Before I dive into this week’s post, I have a few exciting announcements: I am thrilled to let you know that Optimal Outcomes was recently selected as a Book of the Month by The Financial Times (the book will launch on Feb 25). It was also featured as one of Success Magazine’s Six Books to
Design a Pattern-Breaking Path Read More »
A few weeks ago, we considered the idea that our emotions may have seasonal cadences, just like the weather and workflow. This week, we’ll take a look at how our moods impact our relationships and our outcomes–at work, at home, and in the world. Are Your Emotions Contagious? People don’t talk much about “mood” when
Do You Think Your Emotions Are Contagious? Read More »
Dear friends, In less than a week, on Wednesday, October 30 at 12:30 pm EST, I’ll be teaching a free, public 1-hour live Q&A webinar on the 8 practices of the Optimal Outcomes Method. Unlike the private work I do in client organizations, this is completely free and open to the public in service of
The Magic of an Elementary School Reunion Read More »
Dear friends, Before I get into this week’s post below, a reminder that on Wednesday, October 30 at 12:30 pm EST, I’ll be teaching a free, public 1-hour live Q&A webinar on the 8 practices of the Optimal Outcomes Method. Unlike the private work I do in client organizations, this is completely free and open
The Number One Mistake People Make In Conflict Read More »
Dear friends, The 8-minute TEDx Talk I gave a few weeks ago has just been released: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails I tell the story of how I freed myself from a deeply personal conflict with my mom using 3 of the practices I’ve taught Columbia students and senior organizational leaders for a decade,
Watch the TEDx Talk: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails Read More »
I’m excited (and still nervous!) to give tomorrow’s TEDx talk in NYC: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails. In the practice runs, I’ve seen people tearing up, and people have told me they’ve learned a lot in 8 minutes. My purpose is not to leave anyone shedding a tear, but the story I tell is
TEDx Livestream: Free Yourself When Conflict Resolution Fails Read More »
This week, I was interviewed on the podcast The Upgrade about how to be a better boss. The smart and funny hosts, Melissa Kirsch and Alice Bradley, the Editor-in-Chief and Deputy Editor of the popular website Lifehacker, ended the interview by asking me about a “life hack”– something simple that has made my life profoundly better.
Lifehack: The Nightly Review Read More »
Many senior executives I work with find themselves feeling overwhelmed. One way to stop the overwhelm is to notice its roots. Where does the feeling of overwhelm originate from? If we look only on the surface, we might notice that a feeling of overwhelm arises when we stretch ourselves too thin or allow ourselves to get distracted from
How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed Read More »
In his newest best-selling book, When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, Daniel Pink identifies a common emotional pattern across research studies on well-being: people typically feel bad in the morning. Emotional well-being rises slightly around 8 am, then steadily decreases throughout the day until it crashes mid-afternoon, around 3 pm. It then rebounds around
Managing the Emotions Rollercoaster Read More »
I’ve gotten some lovely responses to the new year’s greeting I sent out a couple of days ago. One of them, from my friend Laura Compagni-Sabella, is particularly moving. Laura wrote: “In the real world, I find that for every act of hate, there are thousands of acts of love. For every act of suspicion,
To Overcome Negativity Bias, Try Positivity Read More »
Independence Day is right around the corner here in the U.S., and I’ve been thinking a lot about the last line of our national anthem. We sing: “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” It takes courage — bravery — to become free. It takes the same courage to free yourself
Podcast Interview on Freedom from Conflict Read More »
Sue Elias, EVP of Parks & People Foundation in Baltimore, MD, uses the Optimal Outcomes method to learn to sit with her challenging emotions, then transform those emotions to master conflict.
Can’t You Just Let Me Feel Bad? Read More »
Conventional advice on solving conflict says you should “put yourself in the other person’s shoes.” This old adage suggests that by increasing understanding and empathy for the other side, we will be better able to create solutions that take their interests into account, thus allowing us to more quickly and effectively reach agreement. For several
Put Yourself in Your Own Shoes Read More »
The world today is increasingly polarized. People who once identified with the center have shifted towards extremes. For example, in the US political arena, those who once identified as Republicans or Democrats have now shifted towards the “alt-right” or “left-wing activism”. This means there may be no shortage of bitter debates in the coming years,
How to End the Bitter Debate Read More »
Increasingly these days, in the quiet moments of reflection that I am honored and grateful to share with top executives, they “admit” to me the following: “I want to pursue a career in another field– one that is not known for traveling every week of the year” and “I want to move from NYC to
In a recent New York Times Magazine article called “Breathing in vs. Spacing out: Is mindfulness always best?” author Dan Hurley compares the benefits of being mindful versus letting your mind wander, and concludes that too much mindfulness could hamper creativity. Yes, you read that correctly: too much mindfulness could hamper creativity. What I want
Can too much mindfulness hamper creativity? Read More »
So often we look at the negative: what didn’t go well, what we did (and we wish we hadn’t), what others did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say (that we wish they hadn’t)…the list is long, and can sometimes seem never-ending. In my work coaching successful entrepreneurs and executives, there is one tendency that
Looking on the Bright Side Read More »
It is a law of nature: the world around us is always changing. A logical response is…to ACCEPT it. We don’t have to like it, we don’t even have to embrace it with gusto. We just need to accept that in reality, it is happening. I’ll give you an example. Last week, I was working
How would your life be different? Read More »